THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MY DEAR IDIOTIC BROTHER

I was beyond boiling point when my parents told me their decision last night. I wanted to run away and not go home.
I am currently much hotter than the sun now.

Yes i should go with parent's flow, not let them down.
Why did i have the same reaction as my eldest brother when we both knew about the decision?
Why can't we just accept it?

Not being able to control myself again midnight last night, I shared some part of it with a friend on skype, trying to distract myself. Not feeling any tiredness, I couldn't stop thinking about it over and over again. To distract myself further I finished a few episodes of drama. I knew i shouldn't but i left mum sitting behind me waiting for me to go to sleep, until i finally said i'm off to bed at 4 a.m.

Trying to get into slumber with such strong emotion worsens it. Already puffy from previous hours' cry, tears still flowed. It's so damn difficult to stop the train of thoughts while i tried to concentrate on not thinking and sleep. After an hour or so i forgot how i finally fell asleep.

8.13am- dad woke me and asked whether i want to follow them for breakfast. Knowing i myself had not enough sleep i refused. My puffy eyes wouldnt let me have any confidence anyway again today. i went back to sleep.

9-ish am- apparently they haven't gone out for breakfast yet. Dad was still in the room, bro came in. Believing that i'm still sleeping, dad showed an article to bro, telling him not to take drugs so he won't end up as that person in that picture.

Bro: 'Oh, there are much more cases than that.'
Dad: 'More so you shouldn't take drugs next time...'
Bro: 'That's my own business.'
Dad: '... now your brother is blaming me, your sister is blaming me; the family is falling apart. You should behave yourself.'
Bro: 'What you all need is acceptance.'

And the idiot brother went out of the room.

I can show you what is ACCEPTANCE, my idiot brother, and how much WE HAVE ALREADY ACCEPTED:

THANK YOU VERY MUCH for saying all these 'inspirational' words.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for trusting your 'better-than-family' friends.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for demonstrating to us how 'highly-moralled' you became.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for showing such great effort to prove you're still worth of anything.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for causing all those 'necessary-and-unpreventable' financial loss to your devastated family.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for potentially lengthening our lifespan.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for dad's,mum's,da ge's and my wonderful sleepless nights.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for giving us such lovely, carefree and worri-less days in the past month and, so much that i wanted it to not stop forever...

and, these are what i really thank you for:
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for understanding us so well that you used that against us.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH for giving me the strong DESIRE to slit your throat.

Thank you, my idiot brother, i know you would smile and laugh happily when you read this.